I Hate it when Skinny Girls Tell Me How to Lose Weight

As much as I wish that the woman who can eat anything, doesn't have to exercise, and still looks like a supermodel was an urban legend I hate to tell you that she exists. When I was overweight and really struggling with my eating demons, it seemed that I encountered her more often. If you are reading this and you are struggling with your weight and all that lovely recipe involves: self-esteem, self-worth, body image, looming thoughts of failure, frustration over the dream of the body and the food freedom skinny people seem to enjoy, you are right here with me. Did you ever notice these women have really stupid diets? Diets not a way of life. I tried them all....you know what I am talking about: Start Monday and drop 15lbs by Wednessday stuff. I tried the cabbage soup, the cottage cheese and tuna (which is how I figured out I don't just hate fish, I am allergic to it....nice rash!!!), the grapefruits, the eat whatever you want just don't eat after 7....etc. None of these crazy ideas worked for me.

So here is what I have to say to all of the skinny know-it-alls who tell me how to eat and exercise, "Unless you have walked in my fat-girl jeans, or the only sexy dress you could find involved enough fabric to create a small tent city for a refugee camp, keep it to yourself! " I may not be 256 lbs anymore, but I still hear it. I still have people give me advice, and as much as I want to quip back "look I lost the last 136 lbs without you, I got this covered," I keep it to myself.

But I know you are still wondering "how, how did you lose it?" I am not going to be that skinny girl who is going to tell you what to eat and roll out a menu for you, not unless you ask. If you want me to create a menu for you, write me and I will do that, but this is step 1.

Step 1: Go stand in front of that mirror right now!!! Look at yourself, and say I am beautiful. My heart is more beautiful than the most beautiful runway model body. I am going to be healthy. I am not going to give in to stress and that carb binge I have planned at 430 when I bottom out of energy, focus, and sanity. This is where it starts. Weight loss starts in the mind! It begins with your heart. This is your first battlefield and victory is only accomplished through consistent performance. Think and act like you are already at your weight goal. When you stop respecting that boundary you keep telling yourself you have and you cross those limits, you are one step closer to the You you want to be!

Even now at 120, I didn't get the body I thought I was going to have. I have loose skin all over, but I have a healthy heart and strong body. A smile that makes every guy's heart melt. But you are still going to see me in a bikini at the beach this summer, and for all of those people who roll their eyes and say "how can she wear that", I figure they can always turn away. Sexy is an attitude not just a style or body type. Healthy is a frame of mind that will take over your body and fill every cell of your body. Be that skinny Diva you want to be!

Everyday I tell myself, I am beautiful, I am made and loved by an awesome God. God has already established my value and worth not the skinny people in this world. I am healthy, I am an athlete, when I am hungry I am going to eat protein and vegetables, when I am tired I am going to grab an apple and not have that mindless carb binge that I am going to feel guilty about when I come to my senses. I am a thin person and the way I look and feel is only going to get better.

Determination and right thinking is a choice. It is a battle. You want a place to start....start with that inner dialogue that you are feeding yourself. My mother always said, "Garbage in Garbage out". If you fill your mind with negative or depressing thoughts, it will ooze out of every area in your life. I have yet to meet a jelly donut that doesn't leak. Have you noticed that? How do you tell what type of filling is in that donut? You look at what color is drippingout the side. Every day I decide not to be a donut. I decide to not be food. I decide to be that butterfly who went from the catepillar that ate everything in sight to soaring and flitting in the wind enjoying all the beautiful things life has to offer.